Homeschooling autism and other disabilities can feel daunting so it's great to read about someone who has turned her family around because of her decision to take her children out of school.
Can I just say, I absolutely love this article. So honest and so striking! A lovely read! Very, very well done indeed.
~ Simone, Courageous Homeschooling Facebook support group
And so many of us must feel just like Erika; after all school is the place you are meant to send your children to be educated and cared for.
But, especially when it comes to a child with special needs, you may well find that school is NOT the best place for your child.
Here's a couple of facts taken from Ambitious About Autism:
This is what Erika says:
"We would be sending them back to the place where they were desperately unhappy and we would be right back to the tears, the
anger and destruction and the Sunday night upset stomachs. The phone calls from school and the meetings with teachers where I'd come away feeling like the worst mother in the world."
After Erika's son was diagnosed with autism age 8 she had a meeting with her son's teacher.
This is how the teacher responded:
"He's just a naughty little boy who doesn't know how to play nice with others. Now, if you don't mind, I have a class of 30 other children who need my attention.”
"How her words have echoed in my head ever since. I don't think they will ever leave me." ~ Erika
"(When) our third son was born..we all knew he was going to be the most autistic of our three boys...(We had) numerous meetings with professionals discussing what our youngest would need in terms of educational provision (a quiet environment, with one-to-one sensory time frequently throughout the day, highly trained staff in the different therapies) and we started thinking there must be some alternative to school.
You see at this point, our eldest (age 12) was being let down and denied these provisions. Every single day there was some new problem we were being called to the school for.
We also had our middle son who had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, autism and moderate learning difficulties and...now at age 7 he was being moved to a new school into a bigger learning support class because he was seven.
As you can imagine for a child with communication difficulties who hasn't started talking until he was 6, who had barely begun to know
a few names of the 8 classmates he had had for three years, and despite the fact that children with autism need routine and continuity – he was being expected to cope with this upheaval.
And the state viewed this as the best way of meeting his needs???" ~ Erika
The National Autistic Society sites these reasons parents choose homeschooling:
For Erika the final straw came when:
"One late September morning my husband finds me having a full blown panic attack because I am terrified of going into my eldest son's bedroom because I honestly didn't know if he was going to still with us.
My beautiful boy, who lives for being helpful, thrives on praise and who
just wanted friends, had been making plans to end his life as he just couldn't cope any more. Age 12 and suicidal – this isn't right."
"There are many different challenges you face not only as a parent of a disabled child, but when you are homeschooling autism it brings a whole new set of challenges.
You have different goals and needs for your children and that can make you feel out of step with other homeschoolers." ~ Erika
I'm sure that's true.
So I asked Erika to share some tips on how she goes about homeschooling her children with special needs.
“Just breathe. You can do this. School didn't work for your
children, like it didn't work for mine, so replicating it at home isn't
going to work either.
Just let all of you breathe, let yourself and your children discover who they are again and you'll see when they are ready and how best to go."
How right she was...
That way you can look back and see just how far both you and your children have come. It's also really important for your children for when you are no longer with them...So make friends with that horrid camera, not for you but for your children.
"Our middle son is now 12 and really coming into his own. Learning is extremely difficult for him as he struggles with retaining information so we have to repeat things (over-learning) but he switches off if he's done it before so I am always looking for new ways and activities to learn the same thing for him.
Giving him time to be himself, he showed us how to encourage his learning. Comics have been our breakthrough... Lego, YouTube,
stop-animation he is thriving on...
Our youngest son is nearly 9 – where does the time go? He is still non-verbal and driven by the need to satisfy his sensory needs. We have had to privately fundraise for an AAC device to help him communicate which he loves using.
He is like a sponge, he loves learning, taught himself to read. I always feel like I'm running to catch up with him (literally as well as educationally)!"
"Our job is to help our children become as independent as possible. This is the heart of home schooling with autism. You won't be around forever and you need to help your child to be as self reliant as possible, even if they can never live independently.
When I was asked by a Doctor how I knew I was doing a good enough job teaching my son I replied:
Thank you so much Erika for sharing your homeschooling story with us.